


Knowing Me, Knowing You

by lackofpatience



Category: Better Call Saul (TV), Breaking Bad
Genre: Dialogue-Only, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-24 22:12:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3786145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lackofpatience/pseuds/lackofpatience
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How to end relationships for fun and profit, starring James M. McGill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Knowing Me, Knowing You

**Author's Note:**

> I got bored at work today and wrote a thing. Unproofed. Largely nonsense.

He fires Francesca the day before he disappears. It hardly comes as a shock, his behaviour pretty understandably erratic all around, and after the little “incident” with Pinkman, she's all too happy to walk so there's hardly even a point, but if it buys him a couple of extra days before anyone notices that he's gone, so much the better, right? He isn't overly cruel about it, just glib and callous, one final kiss-off to accompany the one he'll be giving himself a few hours later, and with a disgusted huff over a parting shot about not letting the door hit that beautiful ass on its way out, she's gone.

If he's honest with himself (which he so rarely is, but that's so obvious as to be beside the point), she's one of very few people he has left that he'll actually miss, and yet there's a strange, familiar comfort in telling her to get lost. No matter the people involved, after all, the only constant in any human relationship is that they all end, isn't it? Sometimes it may take a while, or be vague and unconcrete, and it often may require significant effort, but solitude always finds a way. Sooner or later, no matter how great the movie, those credits have to roll, whether you want them to or not. It's reassuring, in a way, always having that to eventually count on. With literally nothing else left to support him before he bails spectacularly, at least Saul has that, right?

Right?

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


“No no no, you don't get it, I'm not even mad!”

“Like hell!”

“I'm not! This is me, cool as a cucumber over the fact that my wife is a cheating whore!”

“Fuck off.”

“It's the _who_ that gets me.”

“Oh, is it? That's what gets you, you piece of shit?”

“Absolutely. See, I can accept the cheating. To be honest, I always kind of expected it, I mean, look at you.”

“Fuck you, asshole!”

“What? It's a compliment! But to do it with such a colossal douchecanoe as _that_ guy? Really? That's just... what _happened_? Did you lose a bet? Did _I_?”

“You know what? Go slip off a fuckin' bridge. I'm gone.”

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


Second verse, same as the first. He’s not even thirty and Jimmy’s an old hand at this by now. That solid pit of dread settling deep in his belly and slowly uncoiling as he strolls through his living room, another man’s shirt laying forgotten on the floor. The fatalistic satisfaction that comes right before the enthusiastic sounds of copulation hit his ears as he climbs the stairs to his bedroom with a grim certainty of the ‘ah yes, so it’s finally come to this’ variety.

Honestly? He’s bored by it. He can’t pretend he hasn’t been expecting it (you can’t con a con man, and Jimmy’s smelled a rat in his house for weeks) and he can’t act like it’s going to shatter his whole world. The cheating wife, again, some more, tell me another one, barkeep. He steels himself, bored. He swings the door open to stale air and a staler story. It’s all so damn predictab-

“Oh, what the _**FUCK**_?”

Hopefully his mom is just as jaded about the proclivities of her spouses as Jimmy is, or he’s got a very awkward conversation ahead of him tonight.

At least now he knows that he comes by his lousy taste in partners honestly.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


“You… still want to come to my graduation?”

“When the alternative is missing one last opportunity to flaunt the fact that I bagged a hot college chickie before she walks out of my life forever? I wouldn’t miss it for the world!”

“I’m serious, Jimmy.”

“So am I. You are _crazy_ hot.”

“Fine, I’ll be serious enough for both of us. I appreciate it a lot, especially if I’m dropping the bad news on dad right afterward. Might need a shoulder to lean on, you know.”

“Shit, I forgot he’d be there. Pissing off the great Judge Blaire before I’ve even passed the bar seems like some pretty unnecessary handicapping.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll be far too consumed with rage at his only daughter abandoning her destiny as a lawyer to even notice you.”

“Still, maybe I could just hide under your robes for the whole thing? Fun for the whole family.”

“Cute. Now if I could just get over the fear of failing miserably in L.A. and proving him horribly right, I’d be golden. This isn’t a huge mistake, is it, Jim?”

“If I say it is, does that mean you’ll stay?”

“Probably not.”

“Then go for it. Sing your heart out, knock their socks off, save the world with a song.”

“I will. I have to. Thank you.”

“And hey, if it all crashes and burns on you, try not to lose my number.”

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


“So... I guess this is it, then.”

“I guess so. Good luck to you, Jimmy.”

“That's it? That's all I warrant? A firm handshake, after all we shared?”

“After all we- all right, that's enough of that. I have work to do.”

“Of course, of course. I only hope that, with enough time, you'll be able to love again, as I shall.”

“Jimmy, 'all we shared' was -- at best -- workplace harassment. And keep your voice down.”

“Wait, harassment, on whose side? Do you think I have a case against the firm, here?”

“Get out of my office, Jimmy.”

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


“This was the greatest week of my life.”

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


“Jimmy, we need to talk about this.”

“And why is that?”

“Because it’s not just going to go away if you ignore it!”

“Why the hell would I want to ignore it? It’s _my_ business. You’re the only one who needs to be concerned with ignoring things. Trust me, it’s much easier than you make it seem.”

“Quit being an ass. ‘Ice Station Zebra Associates’? This is sketchy as hell, Jimmy, and you know it.”

“Tell that to Rock Hudson.”

“How long are you going drag this out? You can’t just _do_ shit like this and expect me to shrug it off and move on with my day, at least _talk_ to me.”

“Why? How many possible ways are there for the conversation to end, Kim? We’ve been here, it always ends the same way. I have a job, I’m doing it. Sorry if you don’t like my methods, but… no, wait, I’m really not. So what do you hope to achieve by digging into my stuff? Again? Some _more_?”

“Our stuff. It’s our stuff, Jimmy. That’s how this works.”

“As I recall, you’re the one who made several _very_ pointed decisions to keep our professional lives extremely separate, so with all due respect, that’s a load of horse shit.”

“ _I’m_ the one who- no. You know what, forget it.”

“See, now you’re starting to understand!”

“No. Forget this whole stupid ‘pushing me away with unwarranted nastiness so you can wallow on your own and revel in being the bad guy here’ act. It is such hacky, clichéd garbage, and you are _better_ than that, Jimmy. So knock it off.”

A sigh.

Another.

“Nothing? Really? Is what you’re into really _that_ indefensible?”

Apparently so.

“Fine. You win. You call me as soon as you’re ready to act like an adult again, okay? Until then, I’ll find a hotel.”

She waits two weeks before she stops expecting him to call and mails the divorce papers to his office a day later.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


Some old Polaroids. A passport. A VHS tape. A ring. And some cash. Of course.

He puts the lid on the battered old shoe box.

He says goodbye.

Roll credits.


End file.
